notesfrombakerst:

ithefool:

lol grammar puns

I laughed too much at this

(via reflectingiridescent)

@15 hours ago with 151021 notes

(Source: angkinzarchive, via lindanyah)

@17 hours ago with 178093 notes

kittensandscience:

curlicuecal:

This is the best thing I have ever seen.

OMG George Takei reviewed it:

Brad and I will be Grand Marshals at this year’s San Diego Pride Parade, and we were looking for just the right touch to add a bit of pizazz to our appearance. So when we stumbled across the PASSION NATURAL WATER BASED LUBRICANT - 55 GALLON drum, we felt we’d struck gold: “Just enough volume to soak an entire parade of spectators, and yet fits easily in our float.” Double win.

Now, how to spray the lube on the excited on-lookers? Why, by water pump gun, of course. To test out our delivery mechanism, we purchased a drum for our back yard and set up a slip and slide. I had Brad charge toward me down the slide, and I fired at will. It helped to imagine he was a Klingon Bird of Prey: Target that explosion and FIRE.

What I didn’t expect was that Brad’s forward momentum would cause him to crash into me, upending the entire drum along with us. Utter chaos. Our unfortunate cats, who had come out to judge our activities as cats will, were caught in the deluge. Looking like drowned rats, they howled and sped around the yard in hysterical circles, then tried for ten minutes to climb a tree.

Once again, the neighbors thought we’d set something on fire, so the LAFD arrived shortly afterwards. Try explaining any of this to a stranger, especially a hunky one in uniform. “Hose me down?” I offered. He kindly did, then retrieved our cats out of the tree with only minor scratches to the face. (They still aren’t speaking to us, by the way.)

Bottom line, we decided against soaking the Pride Parade revelers lest it create an “incident” that could upstage us entirely. But we do have a great new weekend fun activity.

(via thefoxwithsuits)

@1 day ago with 70158 notes
elitecult:

thefrogman:
So this guy volunteers at the Olympics. He figures maybe he’ll get to see some amazing athletes doing athletic things. And then the fastest man alive gives him a fist bump.
Look at all that happy.

elitecult:

thefrogman:

So this guy volunteers at the Olympics. He figures maybe he’ll get to see some amazing athletes doing athletic things. And then the fastest man alive gives him a fist bump.

Look at all that happy.

(Source: 4GIFs, via tougetough)

@16 hours ago with 1048662 notes

Are you punishing me?

Do you ever feel like someone is punishing you? It’s like she’s trying to torture me for how I made her feel. That’s just it though, I didn’t MAKE anyone feel anything. Love, hate, or any feeling, doesn’t come about because we want it to, it just does. 

I’m kind of done. It is a “Hurt me once shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me” kind of thing. Although, I’m sure it’s way more than once or twice. It’s more of a ping pong game with marbles. I’m sure I can live without you, because strangers have proved to be more reliable. & I mean, I thought I couldn’t live without him at one point, and I’m fine. 

People like to say, if you love someone let them go and if it’s meant to be then they’ll come back; I like to believe that if you LOVE YOURSELF you’ll let them go, because you deserve someone who wants you and cares for you in the best way. Your heart may aches for someone, but it beats for you. Don’t let anything aches your heart to the point of breakage. 

@1 day ago with 1 note
#personal #can't sleep 

(via anpt)

@1 day ago with 114586 notes